the multi-determination of perfectionism in the nyt
“Our research shows that successful perfectionists are successful in spite of it, not because of it,” says Tom Greenspon, a psychologist in Minneapolis and author of “Moving Past Perfect” and other books. “If you worrying more about how you are doing than what you are doing, you’ll stumble.”
attachment, parents, and a kindergartner’s first school bus ride in the washington post
“As far as I’m concerned, the Miniature Hero of Bus 1112 can have my daughter’s hand in marriage.”
Compelling Atlantic article on why kids with “perfect” childhoods often are unhappy as adults.
A few excerpts:
“I can’t tell you how often I have to say to parents that they’re putting too much emphasis on their kids’ feelings because of their own issues. If a therapist is telling you to pay less attention to your kid’s feelings, you know something has gotten way of out of whack.”
“Please let them be devastated at age 6 and not have their first devastation be in college! Please, please, please let them be devastated many times on the soccer field!”
“…measures of self-esteem are poor predictors of how content a person will be, especially if the self-esteem comes from constant accommodation and praise rather than earned accomplishment…research shows that much better predictors of life fulfillment and success are perseverance, resiliency, and reality-testing.”
Photo: Sally Mann
